more like joey

i despise going to wal-mart. i have nothing against the company as most folks who despise going to wal-mart. it's just that i now live in arkansas, which is tragic when it comes to buying groceries. rather than a nice, clean, well-stocked, small parking lot albertsons or kroger you have no choice really but to go to wal-mart. where, even though nice enough & clean enough, you must park miles away, then attempt to play bumper grocery carts in the aisles with the other 5000 people in there to simply purchase a few provisions. (here is where i could write at least a few paragraphs complaining about the meat department at wal-mart where there is no real butcher, it just appears mysteriously on the shelves & no one know where it actually comes from. but that isn't what this is about, so i'll spare you)

instead of complaining, which i realize is all i have done thusfar, i decided to seek rememdies to this dilemma. through much trial & error, i have discovered the absolute best time to go to wal-mart. i'll let the cat out of the bag, just for you...it's tuesday morning. no crowds, new shipments come on mondays, no lines at the checkout, the produce is very well stocked & i only had to park a half a mile away.

so one particular tuesday morning, i grab my list & go to wal-mart. i am shopping fast & furious & focused so as to be in there for as little time as is possible. i do pretty good & all that stands between me & getting out is the check-out process. i proceed to the the lit up number 7 & find a beautiful, beaming asain woman greet me. her nametag says joey. she has somewhat of a mullet cut into her black hair. it wasn't the arkansas redneck kind of mullet, but it was wonderfully edgy & hip with a sort of reddish dye job on the top. i look way too much into these types of things but the "cool" mullet screamed of independence & personal style. when we first spoke to one another, it wasn't my typical wal-mart check out greeting of "did you find everything okay?", where i think of all the things i didn't find & then blatantly lie & say "yep". this woman was sincere. she smiled. she looked me in the eye. in a matter of only moments we chatted about so many topics -partly because of how friendly she was & partly because of how quickly she spoke- from the rising cost of groceries to her home in thailand & the best thai food restaurant here in town.

i found myself forced to leave because of someone in line behind me, but my true desire was to stay & talk longer with joey. there was just something about her that was wonderful. i don't know what it was about joey, but i imagine it was Jesus. either Jesus in her drawing me or Jesus in me loving her. by time i got to my car, my thoughts had gone to where they too often go, to myself. would anyone ever walk away from talking with me & smile, feeling so joyous, so lifted? do others ever desire to not leave a conversation because my words are so laced with grace & love & sincerity. does Jesus beam from my life? do i let Him love through me? deep within i know the answers to those questions are no. whether joey knows it or not, i got a glimpse of something i long for, long to be like....& the good news is that I can never be like that, but Jesus has that same desire for me & He can actually make it happen.

"with people, this is impossible, but with God all things are possible" Matthew 19:26